I moved into a new apartment ("new" is read: "very 1960s, but I have never lived here before") on 4 Januar 2017 (that's how the locals would write it). So now I'm in Germany trying to be German and I'm finding that it comes with a slew of struggles, lessons, and surprises that I had never previously imagined. On this new blog, I hope to talk about some of my experiences. It might help some people. Mostly, I think it will help me, but you're welcome to tag along for the ride!
Obviously, I have been here for going on three months now, so some of my experiences are not-so-new. I'll try to talk about those in flashback posts. Not today. Today is dedicated to newness and beginnings, so let's talk projects:
My primary function these days is to find employment. Easy, right? I'm a model employee; I work way too hard for way too little money, and the slightest improvement in my situation will earn you my undying loyalty. Apparently that's not what Germans or Swiss want. Okay, so now what? I've tried applying to entry-level jobs: not qualified (most entry-level jobs here require 5 years or more of experience in fields that are definitely not mine). No one trains on-site. You have to have taken care of that somewhere-else-but-don't-ask-us. So then I said to myself, Self, everyone is always saying you have to manifest your dreams, so start sending out into the world that you want a job making 90,000 Euro a year or more! So I bolstered my CV and sent it to jobs WAY out of my reach. Naturally, nada.
So now I'm backing off. I'm putting myself honestly, sincerely, but FIRMLY out there in the world. I started by really focusing on the "next step" and less on the "big picture." Big pictures are great motivators, but if that's all you ever focus on, you'll only ever be disappointed because you forget all of the tiny steps that lead up to it. I started by contesting a grade I was given on a homework assignment I completed for my TEFL certification class. It wasn't a bad grade (91), but my professor left remarks that I felt were unjustified, so I e-mailed her and told her so. Even if my grade doesn't change, this was a new beginning for me; I never stand up for what I feel I'm worth, and now I did. That wasn't so bad!
Next, I danced in the public square outside of the major train station near where I teach Zoanee classes to try to drum up some students. Ignoring the fact that this idea was poorly conceived, I figured that if I want packed classes, I have to do whatever I can to pack those classes and I did it. Another new beginning: going after what I want, not what someone else wants for me.
I've also been working very part-time (shhhh, under the table), for a lovely fellow in need of help with organizing. While I was there, he kept complaining about his assistant at his company. Now, I've seen all his paperwork and personal effects and I know what he's worth financially (and the sad salary I'll be making this year if I'm not diligent). I also know what my skills are worth and how pleased he is with me. I put myself out there; I said, "Well, if your assistant needs help, I'm available for hire." He didn't comment. But it felt great to make it known that I can be useful, and that I believe I am worth a job at least.
Today, I'll be getting dressed up (which for me means brushing my hair and getting out of leggings), and going to a local language school to PERSONALLY give them my CV. It helps to have a face with the name, right?
It might not be much, but I'm doing everything I can to manifest a new beginning in a new country under completely new conditions and circumstances. It's not my big picture. But my big picture is about 25 steps away. So I have to work carefully on remodeling my views of my self-worth in order to take a confident, secure Step 1.
If you're still reading, thank you! Wish me luck. I wish the same for you. If you want more content, I imagine this will morph and change and grow as I do. Join me!
Love and adventure,
Veronica
P.S. - I would love if you would send me questions! It'll help me direct my writing. Stay in touch:
www.facebook.com/PerformancebyVeronica
VeronicaZoanee@gmail.com
or here!
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